Why don't I feel loved by anyone?
Ok, that was a bit melodramatic, but that's what i feel right now.It's like I all the world typically hates me, you know?
Ok, I'm not being eh-mow [emo] or anything, I'm just expressing what I'm feeling at this exact moment of my life.
I think I'm experiencing the pangs [yet again] of the so called "middle-child-syndrome". I feel so unwanted here, which is basically the reason why i really HATE to stay home a lot. And maybe one of the reasons why I don't like school-breaks as much as the other kids. 
(Damn. I hate psycho-analyzing myself.)
The funny thing is, my mom [a so-called Psychology Graduate with a *I think* Masters Degree] couldn't even empathize with me.
She asked me about an hour ago what the was wrong with me. Come on! YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME *itch!
I don't feel the same love you give to my siblings. I hear you croon all the time how special they both are..what about me huh?
I'm the one who you give papers to proofread for grammatical errors and spelling/puntuation errors. I'm the one who you call from your office everytime you construct a sentence in English and ask if the sentence structure is correct or not. I'm the one who you turn to when you need someone to make you a PowerPoint Presentation for some report you need for in a meeting. AND IM THE ONE WHO'S EFFIN AWAKE TYPING YOUR SHIITE RIGHT NOW!!
And you couldn't even give me something as simple as the love you could easily give to my siblings? That really breaks my heart. You have no idea how crushing that sentence marked in violet is to me.
I dont understand why you can't give me your love or show me that you appreciate me, even if it's only a little bit or even if it's only "mock/pretend-like", I think I'd still want that from you. 
(How pathetic am I, really?)
I'm the child who ALWAYS GIVES YOU GOOD GRADES FROM SCHOOL.
I'm the child who's NEVER GOT A FAILING MARK.
I'm the child who has "above-average-close-to-excellent" English skills.
I'm the child you resemble the most back when you were young (and Dad's got a picture in his wallet to prove it).
And no matter how hard I try, you'll never love me as much as you love those other two will you? I can't wrap my head on why you hate me so damn much. I used to look up to you as a kid, now I only see hatred, from me to you. I'm just reciprocating the feelings.
You know, I still wanna thank you anyway.
Thank you for bearing me in your womb for 9mos.
Thank you for taking care of me during my infant years.
Thank you for the possibility of giving me your love before my sister was born.
And lastly, THANK YOU FOR NOT LOVING ME AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE THEM BOTH...
I am a better and STRONGER person because of that fact.
~I write better.
~I psycho-analyze myself more, helping me understand the REAL ME amidst the self-pity.
~I cry a lot, cleaning my eyes more often than usual.
~I'm not as sappy about love as most kids my age are.
~I am tougher when it comes to heartaches, you trained me since I was a little kid.
I've self-pitied myself a million times since I was little and I know it has made me stronger.
Don't you worry, someday I'm gonna repay you the same courtesy you gave me.
And the reason why I'm still breathing now is because I have been living to reach that day. And now that I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm getting closer and closer to that day, just wait and see.
†"Fuck me over, I'll show you what's it like to be sooo used."†
