After all the grueling hours of studying for finals, I can finally sit back and actually have a life.
I still cannot believe i SURVIVED this semester, let alone be somewhat glad just by thinking about it. Remembering my almost-"slit-my-wrists"-kind-of-depression when the term started back in June, I was NOT happy with my classes, schedule, classmates, people I was forced to be with and skool in general.
I was lonely, cranky, pessimistic and unhappy. Until then, I never realized that I, Melodee Ness Catarata Samontañez actually needed the company of my friends. Since time immemorial, I usually take my friends for granted, they're there and I'm there and there was nothing more to it. But then, when something that you've been used to have for so long is suddenly snatched from you, you tend to feel empty inside, like a part of you is missing or something like that and that is EXACTLY how I felt when all of a sudden I literally did not have anyone to talk to, spend time with, laugh around with anymore all because of my stupid class schedule.
Now, looking back, I realized that all of it was worth it.
Never in a million years would I realize my own worth as a person. Being constantly around friends or familiar people makes you relaxed and somewhat "dependent" on other people. But when you're all alone and no one but you is looking after you, you tend to come out of your comfort zone. You'd be able to know all the things you'd be good at because you work harder and you can have a chance to shine because you won't be overshadowed by your "comfort people".
Being alone this semester also paved way for me to know more people than I would've if I'd been with my friends. Like I said before, being with friends makes you comfy, too comfy that you don't wanna wander and discover other people or possibilities. Knowing and befriending new people eased my (although I'm ashamed to admit it) somewhat-judgemental quality. People aren't exactly what you percieve them to be. This one girl I used to make fun of a lot before is now someone I share stuffs to and at times I get to miss a lot. If you'd ask me before this semester for something about her, I'd have told you this one embarrasing thing she said aloud and that'd be the sole basis why I won't be caught dead being buddies with her. Now however, I'd be willing to defend her from people who would do the same thing I did to her. Crazy ain't it?
Yeah, so that would be just the tip of the iceberg to the zillion things that've changed for me this semester, but I dont wanna enumerate all of them now.
In the end, I guess God or fate or some higher being or force set me up to be separated from my friends this semester to change me, my perceptions and a small part of my life in general so as to build a better me ready to face the uncertain tomorrow.
