I guess more "ME" time then...

alone.
If I could sum up my entire existence for this new semester alone is the best adjective.
Due to the influx of enrollees this semester for respiratory therapy, the number of students enrolling for a class skyrocketed and left most of the other students [like me] to find other available classes. This would mean that since I was not able to enroll in subjects that were meant for my section, I would have to be inserted into classes meant for other sections. In effect, I would live my life for the whole of this semester by myself, going to and from classes by myself and eat and stuff by myself. So this morning, I got a taste of what life would be like without any friends… at all.

I sorta stepped into a typical “loner’s” shoes today. And I must say, I did not like it one bit.

I read somewhere that Man is a social animal. He needs to constantly interact with people and be among his peers for him to feel fulfilled and content in life. Hmmm… I think that in my case, this maybe true. The age-old cliché that “No man is an island” has deeper meaning to me now. Before, I thought that was all made-up by some wimpy, cling-ish person that cannot live his life without the company of friends and people that he feels comfortable with.

I have NEVER been a “clingy” person. I don’t depend on others for support. I don’t need other people for comfort and I enjoy the company of my own self.

But today, something in me stirred seeing groups of people happily chit-chattering while waiting for the teacher to step inside the classroom. The peals of laughter coming from the typical first years [which were easy to identify because they weren’t wearing uniforms] almost made me feel nostalgic. The fact that I had literally NO ONE to talk to made me a bit melancholy. This coming from someone who wished long and hard the previous semester to be separate from friends so that I’d have more “ME” time. Well, guess what, wishes DO come true. *sigh*

I guess since I sorta wanted this before, I have to live with it now. I gotta learn to survive this semester by myself. No friends. No support system. No one. Just me. Alone…

I think know I can do it… I just gotta try… I hope.

Stuck In My Head

The computer clock says it's 12:59 am... either it's lying or I'm stupid.

I know I have to sleep NOW coz I have to wake up early the next day because I have a dentist appointment, plus work, plus I have to go to CDU again so I can finally be enrolled [today sucked by the way, our adviser didn't show up, so I wasn't allowed by the people in the RS department to fill up some enrollment forms].

As I said, I'm stupid. I have been staring at the screen for quite some time now, because [as usual] I do not know what to write. I was sorely tempted to shut down my computer and sleep, but I read a blog once from a real writer [he wrote several books] that in order to truly become a real writer, you have to write everyday. It's kinda like learning an instrument, like for example, guitar. You have to practice everyday in order for you to master it, otherwise you'd just forget what you've learned and you'll start all over again. Just like in writing, you have to write frequently, for you to get better at it. Even if you've got nothing to write good or "interesting" about, you have to sit and start writing [or typing if you're using a computer] and just let the thoughts flow from your mind, to your fingers, to the paper [or screen]. Practice makes perfect. I think that's what the blog writer advised, and that's what I'm following now...

For lack of better topic, since what's inside my head now is pretty much this song, I decided to share it... maybe it'll get inside your heads too... or maybe I'm just weird. Haha. But the song's lyrics are great though. Well, here it is...

Ready, Aim, Misfire

Artist: New Years Day

Get out of the car, and don't try and stop me

Stay where you are, 'cause there you can't hurt me

You took things too far, and I don't deserve this

You said that you'd be, you'd always be honest

And mean what you say, but you broke every promise

That you ever made, and I don't deserve this
If I had just one bullet, and a trigger I'd pull it

Shoot my cupid out of the sky

Break off his wings, and gouge out his eyes

And thank him for nothing, 'cause that's all that he gave to me

Your love is my heart disease

Don't try and call,

I'm not going to answer

I'm not going to fall for another disaster

That you put me through, and I don't deserve this

No I don't deserve this.
If I had just one bullet, and a trigger I'd pull it

Shoot my cupid out of the sky

Break off his wings and gouge out his eyes

And thank him for nothing, 'cause that's all that he gave to me

Your love is my heart disease

Shoot my cupid out of the sky

Break off his wings and gouge out his eyes

And thank him for nothing, 'cause that's all that he gave to me

Your love is my heart disease

I don't care anymore

About You.

Because without you I'm better off.

Shoot my cupid out of the sky

Break off his wings and gouge out his eyes

And thank him for nothing, 'cause that's all that he gave to me

Your love is my heart disease

Shoot my cupid out of the sky

Break off his wings and ask him just why

He played such a sick joke on the fool that is me

And curse me with this sickness

Your love is my heart disease.

New Years Day lyrics - Ready, Aim, Misfire

my imeem

There may be HOPE for the sight of my right eye?

When I clicked the Yahoo homepage this evening to check my e-mails, my attention was caught by Yahoo's feature news entitled, "Scientists Plan Stem Cell Cure for Blindness". The article featured the new discovery by British scientists the use of stem cells to cure a common form of blindness. The article caught my eye because (as not a lot of people may know) my right eye cannot see. The images coming from my right eye are so blurry that I could harldy identify who or what they are.

When I was around four years old, I had an accident that led me to losing the vision of my right eye. My little brother and I were playing when a toy metallic plane's wings hit my eye and caused the laceration of my cornea. I had to wear glasses at an early age just to correct my right eye's vision, but later on it proved to be futile. The doctor informed me that my brain had shut out completely any image that my right eye sends for comprehension. The irregular images sent by my right eye coupled with the normal ones sent by my left eye caused confusion to my brain's system, so that it decided to shut off completely all images sent by my right eye so as to avoid conflict. I now use my left eye's vision to see the beauty of the things surrounding me.

Anyway, I thought that the article that captured my attention was gonna be a solution to my eye problems, but it wasn't.

LONDON (Reuters) - British
scientists plan to use stem cells to cure a common form of blindness, with the
first patients receiving test treatment in five years.

The pioneering project, launched on Tuesday, aims to repair damaged retinas with
cells derived from human embryonic stem cells. Its backers say it involves
simple surgery that could one day become as routine as cataract operations.
They believe the technique is capable of restoring vision in the vast
majority of patients with age-related macular degeneration (AMD), a leading
cause of blindness among the elderly that afflicts around 14 million people in
Europe.
Some drugs, like Genentech Inc.'s Lucentis, can help the one in 10
patients with so-called "wet" AMD and U.S. biotech firm Advanced Cell Technology
is looking at stem cells in other eye conditions. But there is no treatment for
the 90 percent with "dry" AMD.
AMD is caused by faulty retinal pigment
epithelial (RPE) cells, which form a supporting carpet under the light-sensitive
rods and cones in the retina.
The new procedure will generate replacement
RPE cells from stem cells in the lab, with surgeons then injecting a small patch
of new cells, measuring 4 by 6 millimeters, back into the eye.

(full article: Scientists plan stem cell cure for blindness . )

But as you can see, the newly discovered treatment focuses on retina and AMD problems only. And the embryonic stem cell treatment is still at its trial stage. No sure way of knowing if it will work on humans because the last thing the scientists tested it on before humans were rats.

But hey, I'm not giving up my hopes of curing the sight of my right eye, with the major advancements in medicine today that's sprouting here and there, the next thing I'll know nothing in the medicine world is incurable... even HIV-AIDS and all forms and types of cancer.

As people we love to hope... hope for change, hope for love, hope for newer and brighter things in life. This is because hope is like food for the soul of human beings. When everything around them is for naught, they can always hold on like dear life on hope... hope that one day things would get better... (and guess what, most of the time, things almost always gets better! ^_^)

So yeah, my hopes are still high that someday soon I'll be seeing the world's reflection using BOTH my right and left eye, and then I'd say to myself: "What a wonderful world..."

=D

random thoughts...

My first post... just wanted to share 10 random thoughts that i have come to learn through life's experiences.

+Bitterness only poisons the people around you.+
+Love always ends at one point or another... and everyone's experiences pain from it, not just YOU.+
+When you are miserable, nobody cares... might as well be happy.+
+Silence gets you nowhere.+
+Over thinking ruins the happy moments of life and makes the sad moments even worse than it possibly could.+
+Faking yourself for the sake of appearances never does you any good in any way.+
+Trying hard is never enough, you have to GIVE IT ALL you've got.+
+Wishing on stars only get you nowhere. Try to make your own destiny in life, not on some foreign object you know nothing about.+
+Letting other people know EVERYTHING about you is unhealthy. You have to have your PERSONAL space.+
+Loneliness is one's own doing.+

I have personally experienced these things in my life and can give justice to everything that I have stated above. I just wish I'd follow all these thoughts though...